Monthly Archives: September 2012


There’s something awful and wonderful about learning new things that require you to learn even more new things in order to understand that first set of new things.That sentence made sense to me so I’m leaving it alone.

I’m not going to explain how this relates to my current work assignment because I just don’t want to go into it. I want to think about happy things now. What is a happy thing that I can think of right now? The harder I try to think “happy” the less happy I feel. Do you know what I need to do? I need to listen to “Like a G6” for the 8th time today. Loving that song is one of my guilty pleasures.

Another song I like to listen to again and again is “Pumped up Kicks” by Foster the People. When I realized the song was about gun violence I felt a little weird listening to it over and over again, but it’s just so darn catchy. “Pumped up Kicks” is on my Bright and Shiny Spotify playlist. The next song is “Somebody that I Used to Know” by Gotye and Kimbra. There are 9 songs on the playlist and I’m not sure all of them really qualify as Bright and Shiny. I actually spent a lot of time trying to find just the right songs for the list.

Similarly, when I’m creating a Pinterest board, I really feel it’s important that the board’s contents really belong on that board. I found an image of a Doctor Who character named Miss Hartigan. She wore this red dress with a hoop underneath and carried a nifty red umbrella. She was in cahoots with the Cybermen and of course came to a bad end.

Anyway I found her picture on BBC1’s Flickr stream and decided to pin it to a board called Doctor Who Beauty. But then it occurred to me that I would have to do a lot of searching to find other beautiful Doctor Who things to add to the board. I like to only pin images that come with a Pinterest button, so finding images that I’d be willing to pin would take a while. My solution was to change the name of the board to Fancy. Now I’ve got to find images that are fancy enough for my board. I take these things kind of seriously for some reason.

I like to categorize things. I have a kitchen drawer that’s for gadgets only. A spoon does not go in the gadget drawer, and neither does a spatula. Cheese graters, lemon zesters, bottle openers, scissors, tea balls, and pizza cutters are allowed in the gadget drawer. My husband even understands the system!

I’m not sure I realized how important categories were to me until I wrote this longer than usual post. Ah, the self-knowledge that you gain from writing everyday.

Here’s a picture I took today. It could go in the autumn category, or the category for whatever it is you call it when a leaf gets imprinted in concrete. I put it in my Nature set on Flickr because that sort of makes sense.

Imprint of leaf in concrete

Imprint of leaf in concrete





My Magical Unicorn

I’ve been tweeting alphabetically and I bet no one has noticed. I write a tweet that starts with an  A the first day and continue from there. It’s a creative exercise I reckon.

Apples make me think Ohio. Ohio is America-to me.

By the time I figure things out it’s time to focus on the next set of things. Ain’t life a pickle?

Can you believe?

So today was full of frustration. I’m writing training for some software but I don’t think it’s working properly. So I’m trying to figure out how to use something that doesn’t work and I need it to work so I can learn to use it and then teach other people how to use it. What I need is an expert to sit down with me and teach me, and then I can translate what the expert says into nice and friendly teaching materials. That is not the way it’s happening.

My head hurts, I’m not breathing deeply enough, my jaws are habitually clenched. I need a million dollars.

A million dollars would fix everything. I could do the things that I want to do, I could set my own schedule, I could pay off my credit card debt. My husband could retire too. He’s been working for all of his adult life. He deserves some time for him.

I don’t know how many years 1 million dollars would last so I think I’d better ask for more.

When you ask for a million dollars you’re probably required to say that you’d give a portion to charity. I’d do that. I would fund research on Pancreatic Cancer, I would help the homeless, I would try and figure out how to revive depressed inner city neighborhoods. I might even just give a lump to the federal government, or I could just not be a tax evader.

Money doesn’t equal happiness I know, but it makes things easier. I’m sure that it must make things easier.

I need a wealthy unknown uncle to die and leave me his fortune. I’d even spend the night in a haunted house to get it.

That’s my request Universe. Let me know when your going to grant it so I can put on a beautiful ball gown and tiara and ride my magical unicorn to the bank.

Ok. Back to work.

Occupy America

This post is in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge on The Daily Post. Normally, I would never choose to write on this topic. I probably shouldn’t have this time.

Some say that protests don’t work and I would agree that when a protest happens you don’t see an immediate change to the situation in question. I think a protest is like the beginning of a forest fire. It starts as a quiet, smoking smolder and if it’s not doused it can turn into a brightly burning flame. When something’s on fire, people pay attention.

Protests bring a situation to people’s attention. The Civil Rights Movement brought racism to people’s attention and those who were in positions of power began to do something about it. The problem still exists, but things are better now than they used to be. Change, even change brought about by a single catastrophic event, comes slowly.


The Occupy movement highlighted a fact that we have always known; there are ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ in this country, and the ‘haves’ got where they are by climbing on the backs of the ‘have-nots.’  This is a fact of life that we’ve always just accepted, but we’ve only muttered about it under our breaths. After all we didn’t want to sound like a bunch of  Communists.

I don’t know that these protests can ever really cause change because I think we need the government to step in and force the big corporations to play fair. But because the corporations have so much influence over our politicians it’s likely that won’t really happen. There will be some legislation to make things better but the corporations will find ways to get around them.

So I started out saying that protests are somewhat effective, but as I write this I realize that deep down I feel a real hopelessness. I think that for some, participating in a protest gives them hope.

There’s no point in going on without hope so you have to find it wherever you can.

My festival

I was talking to a colleague today about a project we’re both working on. While my colleague has a lot of experience in this type of work, I am new to it, and I’m a bit insecure. I sometimes make the mistake of voicing my insecurities. I did that this morning and regretted it instantly. After my colleague made a few remarks in response to what I had said.  I said (to myself), “I feel stupid. How can I shake this feeling?”

The answer that came to me was that I need to write. I need to go to my own world where I make the rules. I need to go somewhere where my insecurities are okay; they’re part of what I bring to my reader.

There are times when I think I have nothing to say. I read stories about characters who fight crime, commit crimes, travel the world, live in the projects, fly planes, run businesses…

I’ve done none of that.The interesting thing about me is that growing up,  I was the only black kid in a white neighborhood. I’ve been avoiding writing on that subject for most of my life. Writing that sentence was in fact, a big step.

The thing is, I can’t really be boring. I’ve done everything! Well not really everything, but I’ve involved myself in a wide variety of activities.

Here’s a list.

  • Dance (tap, ballet, jazz, modern, belly) teaching and performing
  • softball
  • cheerleading
  • running for student council in high school
  • Academic Olympics
  • a French competition
  • writing contests
  • volleyball
  • acting
  • writing sketch comedy
  • ceramics classes
  • community choir
  • performed in a musical
  • bookmaking class
  • drumming class
  • podcasting
  • video creation
  • teaching aerobics
  • pulled up old blueberry plants one time

That’s some of the stuff that came to mind. I even tried out polyamory (it didn’t take).

What’s my point? I kind of lost track of it during the list-making.

I think I probably have had enough life experiences to qualify me as a writer. Qualify me? That makes it sound like I’m looking for validation from an outside entity. I said earlier that I need to “go to my own world where I make the rules.” I think I should go there sooner than later.

About 15 years ago, I wrote about 100 pages of a novel. I abandoned it because it felt too autobiographical. Maybe I didn’t like looking that closely at myself. Maybe I should look again.

I’m gonna make like this sign was for me.

Caution Festival Ahead

My festival is coming up!

From my phone

I’m attempting to blog from my iPhone. Because I need to write. I need to know that I have written.

I’m in my car waiting for 6:30, when belly dance class starts. I’m wondering if I’ll quit again when this 6 week stint is up.

The weather is very pleasant. Fall has arrived and it feels like fall. For me, fall means that winter will be creeping up on me all too soon.

I never want to be cold again.

Time for class.


My zills


Had to finish this up from my computer. AT&T 3G wasn’t up to the task.

Desks in a Circle

I always loved it when the teacher told us to put our desks in a circle. There’s a certain energy that comes with a circle. We talk about the “circle of life.” A circle has no beginning and no end. It is inclusive and everlasting. Players of wind instruments practice “circular breathing.”  Modern dancers visualize circles when performing triplet steps. A triplet begins with the first foot stepping forward with knee bent, the second foot follows on the ball of the foot and then the first foot does the same. It’s a down-up-up rhythm done in 3/4 or 6/8 time. So a group of three seems circular to us even though it is really triangular, and of course in Christianity the triangle represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

So when I looked around on the Internet for more information about circles I found some interesting lines of study to pursue. Plato’s Seventh Letter which is supposed to explain the perfect circle sounds like something I should check out.

But back to school. I loved when we were told to put our desks in a circle. Maybe it was because it meant we were going to do something fun, or maybe I just liked being seen by all of my classmates at the same time. Was it a chance to confirm my existence or the existence of the kids who sat in the rows behind me?

Today in the work world I have to admit that I like going to meetings. I know they take up time that you could be spending being productive, but it’s a chance to be with people. I like people. Despite the fact that there are so many horrible, mean idiots out there, I really like being with people. Funny how you’re the same person as an adult that you were as a child.



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