Sometimes I think that I’m on the right path; that everything is going to turn out better than I ever dreamed. And then sometimes I think I’m just kidding myself. I think I’ve failed and soon I’m going to fail even worse. I feel proud of myself for blogging so consistently and then I think that I can’t bear to write another word.
I think that’s what depression does. It robs you of your confidence and makes everything look grey, like it looks today.
I’m coming down with something. I was fatigued all weekend and really should have stayed home and slept today, but I came to work. The building is so cold. My hands feel like icicles. I was coughing on the drive in but haven’t coughed since.That’s how my sicknesses seem to play out. I get strange short-lived symptoms and then just feel run-down for 10 days. That throws off my exercise schedule (like it’s actually a schedule).
I’m reading The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom on my Kindle and I’m not sure how much I like it. I’m determined to read more fiction so I can really learn how to write fiction. NaNoWriMo is coming up and I’m going to try it again.
I wanted to wear a necklace this morning, so I chose this one that I bought at the handmade market.
I have lots of jewelry but I rarely wear it. I have lots of makeup but only put it on for performances. Sometimes I think I should dress better for work. It would maybe make me feel better about myself. But I always opt for quick and comfortable.
I’m so cold. I’m going to go home and take a long, hot shower (I waste water yes). I’m going to put on my lavender pajama pants and a comfortable t-shirt and then a long sleeve shirt on top of that, and comfy socks. My husband will cook dinner and we will watch Tales from the Darkside. Tales from the Darkside is a terrible show from the 80s. We have it on DVD and are determined to watch every episode, no matter how cheap the production, or terrible the acting, or stupid the plot.
There you have it.
I’ll have to talk about my dream of being an Internet content superstar next time.