Home movies

There’s always something to write about. Whether or not it’s interesting is for the reader to decide. I guess the writer is also entitled to her opinion, but even if she thinks what comes out on the screen isn’t interesting, she’s duty-bound to keep writing. No one ever died from reading boring prose did they?

But that’s not the point. What I want to talk about is the home movie footage I watched with Ernie and my Dad this evening. It started with scenes of me riding a big wheel down a sidewalk and then doing poorly executed cartwheels. My head actually touched the ground! I’m much better at cartwheels now and I can even do them on both sides. Isn’t it funny how we can do things on one side or with one hand better than we can with the other? It’s perfectly understandable, but funny. Ha ha…

Anyhoo, other scenes on this tape which was converted from super 8 format, include the family driving on roads in Jamaica and me and Mom hanging out at my grandfather’s home in Jamaica.
There was a moment when the 5 or 6 year old me ran to my mother and took her hand. The 41 year old me felt a twinge of that connection I had with my mother. I almost cried because for a moment I remembered what it was like to be that little girl who relied on her mother for everything, the little girl who was everything to her mother. I wish I could go back to that time. I think things were better then. If I could live those years, maybe 1974-78, over and over like in a Twilight Zone episode I think I would.

There would be a catch though. I know there were things about my childhood that weren’t wonderful and perfect and I’m sure this Twilight Zone episode would focus on those parts. I’d have to relive the bad stuff over and over again as punishment for refusing to grow up and grow old. But wouldn’t it be nice not to have deadlines for work, and money trouble, and health issues, and all the other crap that comes with adulthood? Being a grown-up is dumb! I think this is why people do drugs. Just to escape this harsh reality we live in.

Went on a weird tangent there didn’t I?

There are things about life that are just wonderful and I know it. My puppy (she’s a little over a year old now) is one them. She is crazy about me. It’s just amazing to come home everyday and have someone there who is so happy to see you that they just go crazy. She jumps on me, she puts my hand in her mouth, she just can’t get enough of me. I’m looking at her now from across the room and I think I need to stop writing and giver her some attention. So I will. She loves me for me, and she doesn’t care that I’m trying to be a writer.

Here’s yet another picture of my Sadie.


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