I’m not an FBI agent, but I want to play one on tv

I was going to write about the strange guy I saw at Steak ‘n Shake tonight. He was particularly nerdy. I say this because he was wearing shorts with long black socks. He was eating alone, which isn’t weird in and of itself.

When I was single, I sometimes ate by myself in restaurants. It took a lot of courage for me to do it the first time, but after that I felt all modern and empowered, and such.

So this guy made me uneasy. I wondered if he might be planning to shoot everyone in the restaurant, and then himself. Why can’t they shoot themselves first? I decided to keep an eye on him. Perhaps I wanted to see him when he shot me.

I became really concerned when he kept getting up and walking over to the passageway that led to the restrooms. What the hell was he doing, getting his guns, planting a bomb? I really didn’t believe that–deep down. It’s just that I want to play an FBI agent on a hit tv show, so my imagination is always looking for suspects.

Then I figured it out when I saw him reach down and unplug a cord. He was charging his phone. I solved the case! Now, I still think the guy wasn’t quite right, but today was not his day to do a shooting at Steak ‘n Shake.

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