I need to make this quick because I have screencasts to produce. I just found out, however, that the person who asked for them is in Europe for the next two weeks, so I’m not feeling as rushed as I was.
I’m drinking half-caf that I made in the office Keurig with my reusable Kcup product. It’s not the greatest cup of coffee, probably because it isn’t fully caffeinated.
There is a cafe in my building. The food is expensive, but it’s convenient. I was craving one of their scones this morning, but there were none by the time I got there. I didn’t need the extra sugar, so I suspect it’s good that I couldn’t get one. I want to find a scone recipe that results in a scone similar to what the cafe sells. Then I will be self-sufficient. In the scone department, at least.
I considered writing a poem about freedom for this post.
I thought I would enumerate the things from which I would like to be freed. I thought of some things, but I can’t remember what they were. I’m pretty sure it would have sounded contrived, unnatural, artificial, fake, phony, and other words I just found in the thesaurus.
I was looking to modify my “College Memories” playlist on Spotify. Sonic Youth’s “Dirty” is on the list, as is ‘Gish’ by Smashing Pumpkins (here’s a link to the list). I thought I could be a rock star, and bands like that inspired me. I really believe that if I had taken guitar lessons, and buckled down and practiced, I could have made a try.
Anyway, I was reading Sonic Youth’s bio page and saw that one of their influences was Glenn Branca. I remember ordering a Glenn Branca cd from a local record store in Champaign, IL. I was a graduate student in dance, and I wanted to choreograph a piece to one of the tracks. I think I originally heard the track on an lp that I got from the music library. The cd never came in. I did eventually buy a Glenn Branca cd, but it wasn’t the one I had wanted.
The point of the story? Well, the point is that I’m reminded of those days when I was so creative. I was actively trying to create, and I had time to do it (because I was in a creative discipline in school).
I was also lonely and unhappy then. LIfe is different now, and the best part is that I don’t go to bed at night wishing I would go to sleep and never wake up.
These days I feel like I’m running out of time. I may not ever do anything that moves the world. Will I ever be a rock star? When I’m in the shower, I imagine I’m auditioning for American Idol. I still can’t settle on a song to sing. I think my voice would be too musical theater for their taste.
This was not quick. Not quick at all.