Sunday was my first full day out of rehab. I did some stretching and intended to do 5 minutes on the treadmill at about 1.5 mph, and then do some light strength and balance stuff. I ended up taking a shower and washing my hair using the new tub seat thing. It was tiring. My legs were shot after the shower even though I sat for the majority of the time. Not enough in the tank to do strength.
We visited Dad in the hospital. He was in good spirits. He’s so much more together with this one than the last major depression episode. He will prevail. I know it!
After the hospital, we went to Kroger. I wanted some plain yogurt and ice cream. Needed some kind of nuts for snacking too. The ice cream experience was strange. Steroids mess up your taste buds. The ironic part is that they make you hungry. That’s some type of hell isn’t it?
Because I was so tired today, and the hospital is so big; I decided to use the Rollator. It was a great help. When we were leaving the fifth floor of the hospital I decided that instead of letting Ernie go into the store without me, I would venture in with my trusty walker. I needed to show myself that I won’t be ashamed to be seen in public as someone with a disability. So in I went to Kroger with my head held high. I felt a little self-conscious, but it was okay. It was more than okay, it made things easier. For the last several years when I was routinely identifying my “good leg days,” and “bad leg days,” I would sometimes feel afraid to go to the store. I just didn’t know how much walking I would be able to do before I started to become a bit stumbly and feel as if people knew that something might be wrong with me. With the Rollator, I was steady on my feet and able to maintain some energy. I even sat down for a bit when Ernie went off to look for something at the end of an aisle. I sat while we were at the self-checkout too. What a difference it made. I was able to shop comfortably and didn’t experience the usual walking anxiety that I go to stores. I felt liberated and in control!
I’m not saying I’m completly over my self-consciousness and vanity. I will have to push myself to do this again the next time. But I’m stronger than I realized. That’s good enough for today.