Category: Observations


I’m thankful to be in the presence of such perfection.

Sleeping chocolate lab/pitbull mix.
Beautiful Sadie sleeping

Does it matter?

I was having lunch on Tuesday with some coworkers. One of them mentioned a recent news story about a study that found artificial sweeteners can harm digestive bacteria.

I wanted to ask him if the study mattered. I wanted to ask all of my colleagues at the table if anything matters at all.

Who cares about the state of our gut bacteria? What about the state of our world?

The planet is a mess. The oceans are full of plastic. A massive hurricane has brought monster mosquitoes to the Carolinas.

I don’t need to go on about the world’s problems. You know where to find the news.

I have to keep my head up and do what I can to make the world better. I’ll keep recycling. I will treat others with respect. I’ll pray for the planet when I remember it’s okay to pray. I’ll try to remember that more often.

I’ll make an effort to enjoy the life I’ve been given because life goes by in the blink of an eye.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite of all the darkness - Desmond Tutu.


The prompt is aesthetic.

Although I thought I knew what the word aesthetic meant, I Googled it to be sure. I found that the official definitions jibed with my concept of the term, so I was ready to start writing. I considered talking about a declaration I made years ago to improve the world by adding beauty to it. The statement was a response to my inability to fix the world’s problems. I figure the least I can do is make a few people’s lives a little better by showing them beautiful works of art.

My search brought up more than standard definitions. Urban Dictionary defines it as “Something that tumblr weirdo’s say way too often and use it for every damn thing under the sun. A generally annoying word.” 

A site called Know Your Meme says, Aesthetic, often stylized as a e s t h e t i c, refers to retro-inspired visual art and music associated with the vaporwave subculture, which typically include Japanese lettering and nostalgic themes from 1980s and 1990s computer operating systems and video game consoles.”

What is Vaporwave?

Vaporwave sounded interesting, so I did a search. I skimmed an Esquire article about it and found myself not caring. There’s a YouTube playlist you might visit to see what the genre is like. I’d say that it’s not my thing.

Back to the word aesthetic.

Vlogger, Ben J. Pierce did a fun little song about the word aesthetic.

It looks like aesthetic is a word tossed about by hipsters hanging out in independent coffee shops and talking ironically about hipster topics.  Here’s a guide to being a hipster if you’re looking to get involved in the movement.



At last

I started writing the following a little while ago, but never finished it.

I’m at the hospital waiting to check in for my MRIs. I see the neurologist next week for a 6- month follow-up. She’ll review the MRIs to see how effective the Copaxone injections have been.

The hospital’s main floor is busy. It almost seems like some senior citizens are here on a field trip. It’s kind of unnerving.

This is really not a post about MS, but I’ll report that I had a not-so-great leg day on Monday. I think it was because I didn’t go back to bed for more sleep after Sadie got me up at around 7:30. The last two days have been much better.

I dreamed this morning of two old friends from grad school (UIUC Dance Dept.) I also saw swirling letters or words. When I have these dreams a try and see if the letters are spelling anything, but they fade away too quickly.

Tomorrow is the second to last class of my Library Science grad school career. My application to graduate seems to have gone through, and I’m looking forward to not being a student.

21 days later I’m finally posting

I got an email confirming the address my diploma will be mailed to, so I guess I have graduated. The neurologist said my MRIs looked good and she’ll see me in 6 months. I suppose the Copaxone is working.

This week is dragging. On Monday, I thought that if anyone at work asked how I was, I would say, “I’ve had enough.” No one asked. Tuesday wasn’t as bad, but it wasn’t great. Wednesday was better. It could be that I’m tolerating life better because the arctic air has been moving out. I hate being cold!

If I’m going to get this posted, I need to stop writing. I should have more time to blog now that school is over.

I also have got to stop playing Enso. It’s ruining my neck.

Enso game



Too Early

It’s really too early to write. Brain and body say no. Just drink your tea and go back to bed. There’s nothing to be said.

I know that it’s quiet. Quiet is good. I can hear my thoughts. I can hear birds chirping and the fridge running. Across the street, a car door slams.  Someone’s going to work, or coming home.

Digital painting of birds.
Birds will Sing

More birds are stirring. Is this their morning colloquium? Do they take this time to plan the bird day? Maybe they just sing for the joy of it. They sing because they sing.

Today will be whatever it wants to be. I’ll do what I want to do. Me and the day, we’ll meet somewhere in the middle and it should work out just fine.

I’ll breathe and stretch and look gaze at birds. I’ll secretly ask them to sing with me.

Umbrella Envy

This is a little musing about umbrellas.

Rain has come to melt the snow. The temperatures are in the 50s. I don’t have to wear my hat with the flaps. Everything is better than it has been for the last couple of months.

Today was an umbrella day. I have lots of umbrellas. Most of them are broken. The one that was in my bag looked like this.



I saw someone with a big yellow umbrella. I gazed at it longingly, and then began to fiddle with mine in a vain attempt to fix it. I wish I had gotten a picture of it. I saw a few other nice umbrellas, but most were ordinary and didn’t make me feel envious.

This evening, I broke out the cat umbrella that my husband found a few years ago. I have’t used it because I’m afraid I’m going to break it.


I’ve liked umbrellas since childhood. Maybe it’s that they make me feel fancy and safe.


I have a secret

The secret is that I might like the Fall
I might like the way the sky looks when red and orange leaves dance
playfully across it
I might enjoy wearing sweaters
and seeing pumpkins
and opening the car window on my drive across town
Don’t tell anyone
I’m known as a complainer about Fall
and a Winter whiner
I’m the one who declares that she wants two seasons, Spring and Summer
Please don’t tell anyone that I’m getting soft on this cool weather stuff
That I thought today was beautiful
I’ll deny it to the very end


Not Robby Benson

Ernie and I were at Walmart tonight. We were walking down the main aisle in the grocery section and we saw this guy. He had long dark hair with a little grey at the temples. He   wore an over-sized t-shirt with cut off sleeves, and baggy blue jeans. He was lean, muscular, and a little bit exotic looking.

After we passed him, Ernie asked me if I thought that was Robby Benson.

Robby Benson - Photo: Courtesy of Indiana University
Robby Benson: Courtesy of Indiana University

Okay, you might be wondering why Ernie would expect to see Robby Benson, the actor, in Walmart in Bloomington. I’ll tell you why. Robby Benson is teaching at IU this semester. Read more about that here. It is in fact plausible that he might take a trip to Walmart.

I didn’t think it was him. To me, Benson’s face is a gentle one. This guy’s face seemed too angular, too gaunt. We turned around so as to have another look. Ernie said the guy’s eyes were an intense blue like Benson’s. I was afraid it might be Robby Benson, so I was apprehensive to walk past and gawk. Celebrities make me nervous.

As we approached him, I got brave and  took a look. I was sure this wasn’t Robby Benson. Ernie agreed, but thought that if Robby Benson had a brother, this is what he would look like.

Ernie suggested it would have been funny if he had convinced me to go up to the guy and ask for an autograph. I can’t help thinking that if I had, he would have asked me if I wanted to buy some meth.