She had too many secrets to keep. Most of her secrets weren’t at all interesting, but she kept them close believing her soul should be a mystery. The secrets were wound tightly around her heart like duct tape on a leaky pipe, an insufficient and temporary stop gap.
One day, her secrets began to peel away because her fluttering heart needed to beat hard and strong. This is a heart that would not be confined. It pushed and pounded until the secrets were stripped away.
I’m not sure what expressing yourself really means. Aren’t’ we expressing ourselves just by existing?
I did a simple Google search for the definition of the word express.
The first meaning is this: convey (a thought or feeling) in words or by gestures and conduct.
The second is this: squeeze out (liquid or air).
I get the feeling that the second definition actually came first. I think that when I’m expressing myself, I’m squeezing out my essence. I’m showing you my inner-self, the part of me that’s hidden by skin, bones, and ego.
I like to create, but I’m not sure why. I don’t think I set out to bare my soul to those who are interested. But now that I’m thinking about it, this is exactly what I’m doing.
I don’t think I can ever be successful at expressing myself. Anything I draw, write, paint, sing, or dance is still superficial. Maybe that’s why we keep creating. We hope that someday the world will see us for who and what we really are.
I did a solo performance the other day and, my heart just wasn’t in it. Granted, I was coming down with the flu at the time. Still, I’ve been struggling to understand what dance means to me these days.
When I dance with my troupe, I feel myself having fun. That makes me happy. That tells me that I should be dancing, but lately, soloing isn’t giving me the same feeling that it used to. I figure I can either stop performing solos, or find a way to make them feel right again.
I gave my relationship to dance some thought and created this art journal page.