Tag: reincarnation

Writing on a Timer

I set the timer for 20 minutes. I was afraid to make it 30. The goals is to just write. It occurred to me yesterday that I could surely make myself take 30 minutes each day to write. I’m starting with 20. A start is a start.

A co-worker of mine died last week from something unexpected and rare. He was 33. I’ve known him only the two years or so that I’ve worked where I work. We weren’t friends, but we talked from time to time.We communicated in the project management software environment.

I didn’t know him well, but I knew he was one of the good people in the world. I’ve been thinking about him a lot. I dreamed one night that I was weeping for him.

I believe that he may have planned to end things this way while he was on the other side, between earthly incarnations. Now that I believe in reincarnation and pre-birth planning, I see death in a new light. I want everyone to read/listen to the books I’ve listened to on this topic. In fact, I’ll give you a list right now.

I managed to use most of the writing time making that list. That’s okay. It needed to be done.

This wasn’t much of a writing exercise. Don’t worry, I have more to say. I always have something to say.

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This life and others

Lotus blossom on pond
Photo by Diego Madrigal on Pexels.com

I feel I’ve lived a thousand lives

I wanted to write a poem about reincarnation.

About the knowing I have that this life, in this body is just one of hundreds. Maybe one of thousands.

I wanted to express, in verse, the joy of understanding that I am eternal. That we are eternal.

I couldn’t do it.

So I wrote a poem about writing a poem. That’s all I could manage. 

Forever never ends

August 22 prompt from Putting My Feet in the Dirt – Fighting for a forever

Do you ever get tired of trying? A lot of effort goes into being alive. Once you have food and shelter taken care of, the world asks you to do more—be more. Now that I believe in reincarnation, I’m faced with making something out of myself in this life and preparing for the next thousand.

Dive in, Sink deep, Open your eyes, Swim hard, Surface, Go back under

I believe that I’m here for a reason, maybe more than one reason. My parents needed me, but they are gone now. I used to be convinced that after my parents died, I would no longer have a purpose. That seems a little crazy, but it felt like my job, being a daughter, was done. Now I have a husband who enjoys my company. Do I have a new job?

Perhaps I’m part of an elaborate scheme that I can never understand.

Life will likely not reveal all of its mysteries to me while I’m here on earth. So I’ll keep trying. When I get tired, I’ll take a nap.

What I really want is to do is travel in the TARDIS with The Doctor.

IMG_1628 (1)
Public domain image of the TARDIS manipulated with Dreamscope.

Space and Time

Sometimes I write about how Multiple Sclerosis is treating me. I can’t say that I struggle with the condition, because for me, it is not that bad. I belong to an MS support group on Facebook and see so many people posting about the difficulties they go through because of the disease. I’m grateful that things are pretty good for me.

My worst symptom

The disconnect between my brain and my body makes walking somewhat difficult. For me, walking is not natural anymore. I think too much about the mechanics of walking just about every time I get up and take a few steps. I worry that people see me coming and think, “she sure has a weird walk.” It’s funny how your ego tricks you into believing everyone is watching and judging you.

My next worst symptom

The fatigue that comes with MS makes if challenging to be as physically fit as I would like to be. I can walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes at about 2.5 mph, but when I dismount I need another 30 to 45 minutes of recovery time before I feel comfortable walking from the gym to the car. I don’t use an assistive device for walking, but I would be better off using one after a treadmill workout.

Dancing

I majored in Dance in undergrad and went on the earn a masters degree in Dance. I danced with a local modern company and with a belly dance troupe. I am still able to dance, but the muscle spasticity caused by MS is a problem. I can’t always rely on my body to do what I want it to do, for the amount of time I want to do it. I can perform a solo with little difficulty, but when I’m done, I have to shuffle off the stage, because the effort has caused the muscles of my lower legs to revolt. Dancing isn’t what it used to be.

Small collage with photo of dancer and mixed media leaf

Not complaining

It could be worse and I want to say that I’m not complaining. I think I am complaining. There are days when I wish I could be the person I used to be.

A life plan

My recent fascination with the stories of people who have had a near-death experiences led me to a book by Michael Newton, PH. D. called Journey of Souls. The work documents case studies of people Newton interviewd during hypnosis in which they recount a time when they say they existed in the spirit world after death. These subjects talk of having sessions with members of a soul group who counsel each other about what they will do in their next incarnation.

If what is said in the book is true, I have to believe. that after my last life, I chose to inhabit a body that would develop MS because I needed to learn something from the experience.

When I was a child, I remember telling my mother that when I was up Heaven I chose her and my father to be my parents. I believe more and more that this was indeed the case.

Sometimes I think that I’m supposed be be a writer, and MS is here to divert me away from dancing and toward writing. I have always had. trouble settling down to one area of interest. I’m a jack of many trades and master of none. I may not be a master of anything until my next life.

I’m event thinking about starting another blog devoted to spiritual stuff. Another example of my lack of focus.

Always here

I have a cat named OJ. He’s kind of a strange cat. When I say that to certain people, they make a joke about all cats being strange. I think OJ is stranger than others. His new thing is sometimes pooping on the tray that the litter box is on, but not in the litter box. He started this when my other cat,  the late Pericles, got sick.

OJ tends to meow loudly when he’s not in the room with me. He does this, I think, because he’s lonely. He meows loudly when he thinks it dinner time, and also if he’s in the bathroom with me when I’m in the shower.

A softly lit OJ.
A softly lit OJ.

Sometimes I look at OJ, and I wonder who he really is. I feel as if he and I knew each other in a past life. I’ve never really been a believer in reincarnation, but when I look at OJ I see something. It makes me think that we are eternal. We have to be don’t we? We are all connected. We are all the same. This body I inhabit is just a temporary place for the energy that is me  to be. This body I’m in is just an expression of my  true self, or my consciousness, or my soul, or whatever you want to call it.

When I look at my dog, Sadie, I see a creature that is brand new. I have the idea that there are old souls and new souls. I learned that concept in a book, or from Oprah, but I think I believe it to be true.

OJ is strange. Maybe he’s just not used to being a cat.